“In this touching memoir, Jonathan Santlofer recounts the day he brought his wife to the hospital and went home alone. In his journey of grief, he struggles to live the life he had before, and begin a new one without the woman who was his other half.” Canadian Living Mary Delong Read more here
“Jonathan Santlofer’s memoir, The Widower’s Notebook, tells his story of loss and recovery with honesty and humor – Jonathan Santlofer is a seasoned painter and crime writer, but his book publishing in July from Penguin is unlike anything he’s done before. The Widower’s Notebook is a memoir about the loss of his wife, Joy, who died suddenly after an ambulatory surgical procedure. It’s the story of a marriage, a story of grief, and a story of holding on and letting go, told with sensitivity, honesty, and—atypical of memoirs about loss—humor.” -Publishers Weekly Read full interview here
Penguin: From The Year of Magical Thinking to A Widow’s Story and beyond, the world of grief literature often seems to lack a man’s perspective on loss. Why do you think that is? Jonathan Santlofer: The most obvious answer—and the one I tried to deal with myself in my years of grief and then in this book—is that men are neither trained nor expected to express their feelings. “Take it like a man” and “toughen up” are things I heard from the time I was very young. Perhaps this is less true nowadays (and I hope so), but it was absolutely true when I was growing up. In writing this book I was constantly questioning myself – Do men actually write these kinds of books? I didn’t read C.S. Lewis’s book until long after I’d written mine. It might have made it easier for me if I had. There are things he writes about that … Read more
“A Nero Award winner whose debut novel, The Death Artist, was an international best seller and an artist whose works grace major collections, Santlofer writes about the shock of losing his wife.” The Library Journal Barbara Hoffert Read more here
“Front Porch Books is a monthly tally of new and forthcoming books—mainly advance review copies (aka “uncorrected proofs” and “galleys”)—I’ve received from publishers. Cover art and opening lines may change before the book is finally released. I should also mention that, in nearly every case, I haven’t had a chance to read these books, but they’re definitely going in the to-be-read pile.” The Quivering Pen David Abrams Read more here
“…heart-rending, poignant memoir…Santlofer’s honesty, his focus on the moments that remind him of Joy and their life together, and his beautifully crafted, tender prose make for heartbreaking yet page-turning reading.”—Bookpage One late morning in August, Jonathan Santlofer discovers his wife, Joy, in their living room, gasping for breath. In a surreal flurry, Santlofer frantically dials 911 while urging his wife to hold on. Soon he’s standing against the living room wall watching his wife die, even as paramedics try to save her. Joy’s death leaves her husband bereft, and Santlofer struggles to live with his grief, a process he details in his heart-rending, poignant memoir, The Widower’s Notebook. Following Joy’s death, Santlofer spends many sleepless nights not only reliving her death but also recalling the many tender, angry, sad and joyous moments of more than 40 years of married life. On one of those sleepless nights, he writes with fits and starts in a notebook, trying … Read more
From Fatherly.com reviews: “When his wife, Joy, died in 2013, author and artist Jonathan Santlofer struggled to readjust and re-enter the land of the living. The notebook, this year’s The Year of Magical Thinking, is a chronicle of this long journey back. It’s beautiful and, naturally, heartbreaking; unexpectedly funny and brutally honest. Death, which will come for us all, is here stared squarely at. It makes for an uncomfortable but unforgettable encounter. Out: July 10th.” –Fatherly.com Read more here…
Explore the power of love, the pain of loss and the experience of moving forward with writer Joyce Carol Oates and writer and artist Jonathan Santlofer, as they discuss their work and the art of the memoir. After losing his wife, tragically and unexpectedly, Santlofer embarked on a journey of grief and self-discovery that he chronicles in his poignant new book, The Widower’s Notebook. Join him and celebrated author Joyce Carol Oates, who wrote her own memoir, A Widow’s Story, when they sit down for a heartfelt, inspiring conversation. “It is such an achievement, like running uphill against a strong wind,” says Oates of Santlofer’s book. Pulitzer Prize winning author Michael Cunningham has called The Widower’s Notebook “A true tragic beauty.” Come learn how we can all run uphill in life’s most difficult moments. Click here for more info
After my wife, Joy’s, sudden death I hid all of the photographs – it was too painful for me to have them around, particularly to come upon them unexpectedly. I needed to be prepared, in control, and drawing provided that. I started drawing a few weeks after Joy’s death. It was a way to stay close but have distance at the same time. I made lots of drawings, not all of them in the book (my publisher and I chose about a dozen for inclusion), and not all of them are here. Some were very quick sketches, others very complete in my typical trompe l’oeil (trick of the eye) style where I have drawn in tape and tears to make the drawings look “real.” There is a chapter in the book about drawing, how I started, and how it helped me move forward.
“The Widower’s Notebook is a searing rendition of the complex relationship between men and grief—an intense despair that is too often starved for words. This chronicle of devastation is itself devastating, a deeply powerful and unflinchingly honest report of how painfully and strangely life continues in the wake of a sudden, tragic death.” -Andrew Solomon, bestselling author of Far From the Tree “The Widower’s Notebook, Jonathan Santlofer’s searingly truthful chronicle of mortality, is, among its wonders, a book about the preciousness of life and love, rendered all the more heart-wrenching, and all the more vital, by a loss almost beyond imagining. It’s a true tragic beauty.” -Michael Cunningham, Pulitzer prize winner and multi-award winning author of The Hours “Deeply moving . . . beautifully written . . . It is such an achievement, like running uphill against a strong wind.” —Joyce Carol Oates, National Book Award winning author “Wrenching, heartbreaking, intense and emotional—but valuable, too: … Read more