Penguin Random House

A Conversation with Jonathan Santlofer, author of The Widower’s Notebook – Penguin Random House

Penguin: From The Year of Magical Thinking to A Widow’s Story and beyond, the world of grief literature often seems to lack a man’s perspective on loss. Why do you think that is? Jonathan Santlofer: The most obvious answer—and the one I tried to deal with myself in my years of grief and then in this book—is that men are neither trained nor expected to express their feelings. “Take it like a man” and “toughen up” are things I heard from the time I was very young. Perhaps this is less true nowadays (and I hope so), but it was absolutely true when I was growing up. In writing this book I was constantly questioning myself – Do men actually write these kinds of books? I didn’t read C.S. Lewis’s book until long after I’d written mine. It might have made it easier for me if I had. There are things he writes about that … Read more

Praise for The Widower’s Notebook

“The Widower’s Notebook is a searing rendition of the complex relationship between men and grief—an intense despair that is too often starved for words. This chronicle of devastation is itself devastating, a deeply powerful and unflinchingly honest report of how painfully and strangely life continues in the wake of a sudden, tragic death.” -Andrew Solomon, bestselling author of Far From the Tree “The Widower’s Notebook, Jonathan Santlofer’s searingly truthful chronicle of mortality, is, among its wonders, a book about the preciousness of life and love, rendered all the more heart-wrenching, and all the more vital, by a loss almost beyond imagining. It’s a true tragic beauty.” -Michael Cunningham, Pulitzer prize winner and multi-award winning author of The Hours “Deeply moving . . . beautifully written . . . It is such an achievement, like running uphill against a strong wind.” —Joyce Carol Oates, National Book Award winning author “Wrenching, heartbreaking, intense and emotional—but valuable, too: … Read more