Albany Times Union Interview

“Jonathan Santlofer’s painfully beautiful new memoir, “The Widower’s Notebook,” fulfills two roles at once. Even as it makes art of his struggle to cope with the loss of his wife, it also reflects the fact that a growing number of mourning American men are publicly sharing the depths of their sorrow. Released on the heels of last month’s TED talk “The Journey Through Loss and Grief,” by Jason B. Rosenthal — husband of Amy Krouse Rosenthal, whose 2017 Modern Love essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral shortly before her death from ovarian cancer — Santlofer’s memoir treats his anguish at the 2013 death of his own wife, Joy, and his sense of having been left to mourn without knowing how to articulate his grief.” -Albany Times Union Read Full Interview Here

Book Reporter: The Widower’s Notebook

“THE WIDOWER’S NOTEBOOK is vital reading, a beautiful testament to Joy’s life, and a much-needed window into how one man grapples with the most acute kind of loss. onathan and Joy Santlofer were not a perfect couple by any means. They did their fair share of fighting and annoying one another. But they were content in their lives together, even after a 40-year marriage, and mutually sustained one another’s creative and professional work. They were both solidly middle-aged, with a grown daughter, but always envisioned they’d still have decades left to grow old together. However, that all changed when, in the wake of what should have been a routine, extremely minor surgical procedure, Joy experienced a sudden inability to breathe and died, despite the paramedics’ and emergency room physicians’ best efforts. Jonathan, who had been working in his adjoining studio at the time, initially can’t even process what’s happened, as he alternates between disbelief at … Read more

92Y – Jonathan Santlofer and Joyce Carol Oates in Coversation

Everyone shared touching stories and asked great questions about their own struggles with loss and grief at last nights conversation series at the 92Y.  I was incredibly inspired by the discussions that took place. Many thanks to those who could attend, and in case you missed it here are some pics of the evening’s event.

Fiction Talks – Jonathan Santlofer Interview

In the latest latest episode of Fiction Talks, Jonathan Santlofer, a widely acclaimed author and beloved teacher at The Center, talks to Noreen Tomassi, our executive director, about his new memoir THE WIDOWER’S NOTEBOOK. PUBLISHERS WEEKLY hails the book as “a quiet stunner of a memoir… the book never loses momentum, thanks in large part to his vivid writing. This is a tender, moving, and resonant account of how life continues whether one wants it to or not.”

Book Q and As with Deborah Kalb

Q: You’ve written that “men are neither trained nor expected to express their feelings.” At what point did you decide to write this memoir about the loss of your wife? A: I’d say the decision was kind of made for me. For two years after my wife died, I kept notebooks—things I couldn’t say in public. I found myself transcribing notes and the book wrote itself. I didn’t think of writing a book. I have to credit several women I know who encouraged me to write it…Men are not brought up to express their feelings. It was difficult, but it became less so as I did it. Book Q and A’s with Deborah Kalb Read more here

Stacy Alesi’s Book Bitch Reviews

Jonathan’s voice was immediately recognizable. This isn’t some new-agey, self-help guide but rather a journey through loss and devastation, grief and pain, and ultimately hope and love. There are many drawings as well, drawing was one of his coping mechanisms and he explains how it helped him. The drawings are simple and beautiful and so expressive of a life well lived. Book Bitch Reviews Stacy Alesi Read more here

Publisher’s Weekly – Best Summer Reads 2018

  “I’m not a fan of memoir, but Santlofer has taken the tragedy of his wife’s sudden death after a common medical procedure and, without sacrificing the lightness of being, unraveled the events and feelings from both before and after. A painter and writer, he’s assembled all his talents (the book includes sketches) to put himself and his experience on the page with an honesty that will keep you reading after the lifeguards have gone home.” —Louisa Ermelino, director, adult books Publisher’s Weekly Read Full Review Here

Literary Hub Review – Books You Should Read This July

  “The short description of The Widower’s Notebook would be The Year of Magical Thinking from a male perspective. Both books are moving testimonials to grieving for a spouse who died suddenly, but Santofer’s book is not a mere copy of Didion’s. As Santlofer found when he started writing the book, there are not many testaments by husband to their wives. He posits this is because of the way men are socialized: to stifle feelings and to be stoic in the face of calamity. Yet Santlofer proves he’s unafraid of feeling the devastating emotion of his wife, Joy’s, death after a routine knee surgery. He took two years to write this beautiful and heartbreaking book, which is both a chronicle of a remarkably happy marriage and of the need to go on despite the worst possible thing happening.” – lithub.com Read Full Review Here

Publisher’s Weekly Reviews – The Widower’s Notebook

Writer and artist Santlofer (The Death Artist), has produced a quiet stunner of a memoir about the rocky shoals of the widower’s life. The book’s opening scene, in which his wife, Joy, dies suddenly following an operation, is strobed with cinematic verve: “I catch a last glimpse of my wife on the stretcher… all of this in split seconds, like frames of a silent movie before the emergency room doors slam shut.” From there, Santlofer writes of being “sick with a grief that has only just begun” before recounting life as an unexpected widower—numbly going through funeral routines, reaffirming his relationship with his adult daughter, nervously re-entering the dating world, finishing his wife’s book on the history of New York food (Food City)—with asides on the inner turmoil he carefully hides from the world: “I’d lost my sounding board, my reality check, my echo.” -Publisher’s Weekly Read Full Review Here

Kirkus Reviews – The Widower’s Notebook

“His words carry with them the solemnity of death, love, and longing and a tinge of anger as he wrestles with the facts and struggles to determine what went wrong on that fateful day. Santlofer offers a man’s perspective on emotional topics, of feeling inadequate on multiple levels, of wanting to have been a better husband and his desire to be a better father to their only daughter.” -Kirkus Reviews Read Full Review Here