Reviews

The Washington Post – Do men and women experience grief differently?

“Five years ago, Jonathan Santlofer’s wife, Joy, died unexpectedly following a routine outpatient procedure. In the days and months following her death, Santlofer kept a “widower’s notebook” — a collection of thoughts and drawings he polished and bound into a memoir of the same title. Reading Santlofer’s “The Widower’s Notebook” hit fairly close to home for me. I am also a widower. Heck, I even kept a “widower’s notebook” of my own for a while. “The Widower’s Notebook,” by Jonathan Santlofer (Penguin) Santlofer’s book is an affecting read and not entirely heavy, despite the subject matter. My wife, who died of cancer at 39, wrote a memoir, “The Bright Hour” about her own experiences with mortality, so I recognize the challenges of the dying-death-grieving genre. It is hard to present an untimely death without making it maudlin, or to convey the humor and absurdity of everyday life that persists even amid terminal illness and loss.” … Read more

Lit Hub Bookmarks: The Best Reviewed Books of the Week

“Santlofer’s book is an affecting read and not entirely heavy, despite the subject matter … Santlofer’s book, which shines most brightly when it focuses on his grief for his wife, is not a pedagogical tool and does not advance our understanding of grief in an appreciable way. It is the testimony of Jonathan Santlofer about the loss of his beloved wife … Viewed in that more limited lens, the book has perhaps less literary or cultural merit, but it still offers a moving portrait of one widower with a notebook.” The Washington Post John Duberstein Read More Here

Entertainment Weekly – July’s Must Reads!

  Need some new reads to throw into your beach tote? There are plenty of hot new books hitting the shelves this month: Here are the 20 you need to know about…. “In this sensitive memoir, a man wades through grief by remembering his marriage in intimate, devastating detail after his wife dies suddenly.” –Entertainment Weekly Read Full Review Here

Book Reporter: The Widower’s Notebook

“THE WIDOWER’S NOTEBOOK is vital reading, a beautiful testament to Joy’s life, and a much-needed window into how one man grapples with the most acute kind of loss. onathan and Joy Santlofer were not a perfect couple by any means. They did their fair share of fighting and annoying one another. But they were content in their lives together, even after a 40-year marriage, and mutually sustained one another’s creative and professional work. They were both solidly middle-aged, with a grown daughter, but always envisioned they’d still have decades left to grow old together. However, that all changed when, in the wake of what should have been a routine, extremely minor surgical procedure, Joy experienced a sudden inability to breathe and died, despite the paramedics’ and emergency room physicians’ best efforts. Jonathan, who had been working in his adjoining studio at the time, initially can’t even process what’s happened, as he alternates between disbelief at … Read more

Stacy Alesi’s Book Bitch Reviews

Jonathan’s voice was immediately recognizable. This isn’t some new-agey, self-help guide but rather a journey through loss and devastation, grief and pain, and ultimately hope and love. There are many drawings as well, drawing was one of his coping mechanisms and he explains how it helped him. The drawings are simple and beautiful and so expressive of a life well lived. Book Bitch Reviews Stacy Alesi Read more here

Publisher’s Weekly – Best Summer Reads 2018

  “I’m not a fan of memoir, but Santlofer has taken the tragedy of his wife’s sudden death after a common medical procedure and, without sacrificing the lightness of being, unraveled the events and feelings from both before and after. A painter and writer, he’s assembled all his talents (the book includes sketches) to put himself and his experience on the page with an honesty that will keep you reading after the lifeguards have gone home.” —Louisa Ermelino, director, adult books Publisher’s Weekly Read Full Review Here

Literary Hub Review – Books You Should Read This July

  “The short description of The Widower’s Notebook would be The Year of Magical Thinking from a male perspective. Both books are moving testimonials to grieving for a spouse who died suddenly, but Santofer’s book is not a mere copy of Didion’s. As Santlofer found when he started writing the book, there are not many testaments by husband to their wives. He posits this is because of the way men are socialized: to stifle feelings and to be stoic in the face of calamity. Yet Santlofer proves he’s unafraid of feeling the devastating emotion of his wife, Joy’s, death after a routine knee surgery. He took two years to write this beautiful and heartbreaking book, which is both a chronicle of a remarkably happy marriage and of the need to go on despite the worst possible thing happening.” – lithub.com Read Full Review Here

Publisher’s Weekly Reviews – The Widower’s Notebook

Writer and artist Santlofer (The Death Artist), has produced a quiet stunner of a memoir about the rocky shoals of the widower’s life. The book’s opening scene, in which his wife, Joy, dies suddenly following an operation, is strobed with cinematic verve: “I catch a last glimpse of my wife on the stretcher… all of this in split seconds, like frames of a silent movie before the emergency room doors slam shut.” From there, Santlofer writes of being “sick with a grief that has only just begun” before recounting life as an unexpected widower—numbly going through funeral routines, reaffirming his relationship with his adult daughter, nervously re-entering the dating world, finishing his wife’s book on the history of New York food (Food City)—with asides on the inner turmoil he carefully hides from the world: “I’d lost my sounding board, my reality check, my echo.” -Publisher’s Weekly Read Full Review Here

Kirkus Reviews – The Widower’s Notebook

“His words carry with them the solemnity of death, love, and longing and a tinge of anger as he wrestles with the facts and struggles to determine what went wrong on that fateful day. Santlofer offers a man’s perspective on emotional topics, of feeling inadequate on multiple levels, of wanting to have been a better husband and his desire to be a better father to their only daughter.” -Kirkus Reviews Read Full Review Here