Interviews

Vasari 21 Radio: Interview with Jonathan Santlofer

When his wife of four decades died suddenly five years ago, Jonathan Santlofer entered a landscape all of us will face sooner or later: the terrain of wrenching and heartbreaking loss. In his memoir published last month by Penguin Books, the artist-turned-novelist describes the days, months, and first few years after Joy’s death, and how he coped by keeping a diary of his interactions with a new and radically changed reality. In our interview, he talks about how the notebook kept him sane, how men and women handle grieving differently (and what the social expectations are of each sex), how friends responded to his newly solo status, and how drawing helped him preserve his memories and come to terms with his grief. His candid—and sometimes even humorous—recollections make for memorable reading and a wide-ranging conversation about love, loss, and the power of art. Listen to full podcast here

TK Podcast: Interview with Jonathan Santlofer and Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich

The grief over the sudden death of his wife Joy compelled novelist Jonathan Santlofer to begin writing, and those scribbled thoughts and memories became his beautiful memoir, THE WIDOWER’S NOTEBOOK. He and James discuss losing the first person you want to share stories with, not letting yourself off the hook, falling in love with a cat, relying on process, and, ultimately, refusing to live in the shadows. Plus, Alexandria Marzano-Lesnevich on the response to their book, THE FACT OF A BODY. Listen to full podcast here

WAMC Public Radio: Interview with Jonathan Santlofer

Jonathan Santlofer is a writer and artist. His debut novel, “The Death Artist,” was an international bestseller, translated into seventeen languages, and is currently in development for screen adaptation. His fourth novel, “Anatomy of Fear,” won the Nero Award for best novel of 2009. His short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies. He is also the creator and editor of several anthologies including “It Occurs to Me That I Am America,” a collection of original stories and art. His paintings and drawings are included in many public and private collections. WAMC Northeast Public Radio Interview by Joe Donahue Listen to full interview here

Good Grief with Cheryl Jones – Podcast Interview with Jonathan Santlofer

On a day like any other, Jonathan Santlofer was suddenly dropped into the chaos of intense grief when his wife of 40 years suddenly died. His losses before this did not prepare him for his upended life. It did not prepare him for the insensitive and alienating things people said to him when he was too vulnerable to respond. It did not prepare him for the internal conflict of whether and how much to share about his intense mourning. He also had the sense that his inability to share his feelings and ask for help were deeply affected by the expectations he felt because he is a man. How did gender affect people’s expectations of what would happen next? How much of that was a conflict within his own heart? He found an anchor in writing down what he was experiencing. In his notebooks he was able to say it all, and to hear himself. … Read more

Salon – A Widower’s Perspective on Loss and Mourning

Salon talks to “The Widower’s Handbook” author Jonathan Santlofer about what losing someone is really like Grief and trauma are rarely the dramatic, sliding-down-a-wall-in-tears experiences you see in movies. Sure, sometimes there are big, emotional outbursts. But often it’s a dull but persistent numbness. Or it’s intense and boring at the same — like a very long labor, when you find yourself thinking, I cannot believe how been in this howling agony for this long. Author and artist Jonathan Santlofer learned it firsthand when his wife Joy passed away suddenly a few years ago. In his intimate, insightful and often funny new memoir, “The Widower’s Handbook,” he describes the otherworldly experience of watching the person you love die in your arms and the abrupt transition from one life to another. He also astutely observes the fluid experience of grief, something that does not unfold in an orderly fashion or take place in a strict time … Read more

Joy on Paper: Interview with Jonathan Santlofer

Thanks to Patzi Gil at the Joy on Paper Radio Show.  Very glad to be back discussing my new book in such great company. The word “Joy” has always meant so much to me — and so I feel a special connection to Jonathan Santlofer  because his wife’s name was Joy. Jonathan has been a guest on Joy on Paper several times and it was an honor to have him back on the program to talk about his latest book, The Widower’s Notebook. It is a very heartwarming and lovely tribute to his wife, Joy Santlofer, a wife, a mother and the talented author of Food City. There is healing in remembering and in sharing life’s difficult moments. As always, Jonathan has written a compelling book.  Jonathan is the creator and editor of the powerful anthology  It Occurs to Me That I Am America New Stories and Art, which features original short stories from thirty bestselling and award-winning authors—including Alice Walker, Richard Russo, Walter Mosley, Joyce Carol Oates, … Read more

Anxiety Diaries Podcast – Jonathan Santlofer on Dealing with Grief, and How to Keep Living

Thanks to Scott Neumyer at The Anxiety Diaries, a weekly podcast about mental health, incredible people, and much more. Please if you have a moment learn more about our discussion about on dealing with grief, and how to keep living. This week’s episode features an in-depth conversation with writer and artist Jonathan Santlofer. We discuss his incredible new bookTHE WIDOWER’S NOTEBOOK, how he deals with the grief of losing his wife so suddenly and unexpectedly, the ways in which grief manifests things like addiction, anxiety, and pain, and we also discuss how to keep on living after such a tragic loss. Jonathan Santlofer is a writer and artist. His debut novel, The Death Artist, was an international bestseller translated into 17 languages, and is currently in development for screen adaptation. His fourth novel, Anatomy of Fear, won the Nero Award for best novel of 2009. His short stories have appeared in numerous anthologies. He is the author of … Read more

Grief. Hope. Loss. Love. Jonathan Santlofer Talks About The Widower’s Notebook

What was the “why now” moment for you to write this brave and moving book? Thank you for those kind words. I’m not sure there was one specific moment I could point to. For almost two years after my wife’s death I kept notebooks where I documented my days and nights, my interactions with friends and associates, even strangers. The notebooks were for me alone, a way to see clearly at a time when I could not. When I was invited to the arts colony, Yaddo, I thought I would work on a novel I’d started before my wife’s death, but got there and found I was still unable to concentrate on fiction and began transcribing my notebooks. I still didn’t think of it as a book, at least not one I would put into the world. What changed was allowing a few friends to read parts of what I’d written, all of whom were … Read more

Albany Times Union Interview

“Jonathan Santlofer’s painfully beautiful new memoir, “The Widower’s Notebook,” fulfills two roles at once. Even as it makes art of his struggle to cope with the loss of his wife, it also reflects the fact that a growing number of mourning American men are publicly sharing the depths of their sorrow. Released on the heels of last month’s TED talk “The Journey Through Loss and Grief,” by Jason B. Rosenthal — husband of Amy Krouse Rosenthal, whose 2017 Modern Love essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral shortly before her death from ovarian cancer — Santlofer’s memoir treats his anguish at the 2013 death of his own wife, Joy, and his sense of having been left to mourn without knowing how to articulate his grief.” -Albany Times Union Read Full Interview Here