Month: July 2018

Grief. Hope. Loss. Love. Jonathan Santlofer Talks About The Widower’s Notebook

What was the “why now” moment for you to write this brave and moving book? Thank you for those kind words. I’m not sure there was one specific moment I could point to. For almost two years after my wife’s death I kept notebooks where I documented my days and nights, my interactions with friends and associates, even strangers. The notebooks were for me alone, a way to see clearly at a time when I could not. When I was invited to the arts colony, Yaddo, I thought I would work on a novel I’d started before my wife’s death, but got there and found I was still unable to concentrate on fiction and began transcribing my notebooks. I still didn’t think of it as a book, at least not one I would put into the world. What changed was allowing a few friends to read parts of what I’d written, all of whom were … Read more

Entertainment Weekly – July’s Must Reads!

  Need some new reads to throw into your beach tote? There are plenty of hot new books hitting the shelves this month: Here are the 20 you need to know about…. “In this sensitive memoir, a man wades through grief by remembering his marriage in intimate, devastating detail after his wife dies suddenly.” –Entertainment Weekly Read Full Review Here

Albany Times Union Interview

“Jonathan Santlofer’s painfully beautiful new memoir, “The Widower’s Notebook,” fulfills two roles at once. Even as it makes art of his struggle to cope with the loss of his wife, it also reflects the fact that a growing number of mourning American men are publicly sharing the depths of their sorrow. Released on the heels of last month’s TED talk “The Journey Through Loss and Grief,” by Jason B. Rosenthal — husband of Amy Krouse Rosenthal, whose 2017 Modern Love essay, “You May Want to Marry My Husband,” went viral shortly before her death from ovarian cancer — Santlofer’s memoir treats his anguish at the 2013 death of his own wife, Joy, and his sense of having been left to mourn without knowing how to articulate his grief.” -Albany Times Union Read Full Interview Here

Book Reporter: The Widower’s Notebook

“THE WIDOWER’S NOTEBOOK is vital reading, a beautiful testament to Joy’s life, and a much-needed window into how one man grapples with the most acute kind of loss. onathan and Joy Santlofer were not a perfect couple by any means. They did their fair share of fighting and annoying one another. But they were content in their lives together, even after a 40-year marriage, and mutually sustained one another’s creative and professional work. They were both solidly middle-aged, with a grown daughter, but always envisioned they’d still have decades left to grow old together. However, that all changed when, in the wake of what should have been a routine, extremely minor surgical procedure, Joy experienced a sudden inability to breathe and died, despite the paramedics’ and emergency room physicians’ best efforts. Jonathan, who had been working in his adjoining studio at the time, initially can’t even process what’s happened, as he alternates between disbelief at … Read more

92Y – Jonathan Santlofer and Joyce Carol Oates in Coversation

Everyone shared touching stories and asked great questions about their own struggles with loss and grief at last nights conversation series at the 92Y.  I was incredibly inspired by the discussions that took place. Many thanks to those who could attend, and in case you missed it here are some pics of the evening’s event.

Fiction Talks – Jonathan Santlofer Interview

In the latest latest episode of Fiction Talks, Jonathan Santlofer, a widely acclaimed author and beloved teacher at The Center, talks to Noreen Tomassi, our executive director, about his new memoir THE WIDOWER’S NOTEBOOK. PUBLISHERS WEEKLY hails the book as “a quiet stunner of a memoir… the book never loses momentum, thanks in large part to his vivid writing. This is a tender, moving, and resonant account of how life continues whether one wants it to or not.”

Book Q and As with Deborah Kalb

Q: You’ve written that “men are neither trained nor expected to express their feelings.” At what point did you decide to write this memoir about the loss of your wife? A: I’d say the decision was kind of made for me. For two years after my wife died, I kept notebooks—things I couldn’t say in public. I found myself transcribing notes and the book wrote itself. I didn’t think of writing a book. I have to credit several women I know who encouraged me to write it…Men are not brought up to express their feelings. It was difficult, but it became less so as I did it. Book Q and A’s with Deborah Kalb Read more here

Stacy Alesi’s Book Bitch Reviews

Jonathan’s voice was immediately recognizable. This isn’t some new-agey, self-help guide but rather a journey through loss and devastation, grief and pain, and ultimately hope and love. There are many drawings as well, drawing was one of his coping mechanisms and he explains how it helped him. The drawings are simple and beautiful and so expressive of a life well lived. Book Bitch Reviews Stacy Alesi Read more here

Publisher’s Weekly – Best Summer Reads 2018

  “I’m not a fan of memoir, but Santlofer has taken the tragedy of his wife’s sudden death after a common medical procedure and, without sacrificing the lightness of being, unraveled the events and feelings from both before and after. A painter and writer, he’s assembled all his talents (the book includes sketches) to put himself and his experience on the page with an honesty that will keep you reading after the lifeguards have gone home.” —Louisa Ermelino, director, adult books Publisher’s Weekly Read Full Review Here

Literary Hub Review – Books You Should Read This July

  “The short description of The Widower’s Notebook would be The Year of Magical Thinking from a male perspective. Both books are moving testimonials to grieving for a spouse who died suddenly, but Santofer’s book is not a mere copy of Didion’s. As Santlofer found when he started writing the book, there are not many testaments by husband to their wives. He posits this is because of the way men are socialized: to stifle feelings and to be stoic in the face of calamity. Yet Santlofer proves he’s unafraid of feeling the devastating emotion of his wife, Joy’s, death after a routine knee surgery. He took two years to write this beautiful and heartbreaking book, which is both a chronicle of a remarkably happy marriage and of the need to go on despite the worst possible thing happening.” – lithub.com Read Full Review Here